Tips for Avoiding Conflict During the Holidays

I am sharing these because :

I laughed hard, really hard at most of them.

If any of these are familiar to you, you will laugh too, I hope.

Even if they aren't familiar ... you will laugh .. 

Laugh! dammit !

Here are some tips for avoiding conflicts and keeping the holidays stress-free for the whole family:

• Try to end thousands of years of entrenched prejudices before flying home and talking about current events.
• Encourage family members to seek personal space when they need it by telling them the front door’s right fucking there anytime they want to use it.
• Avoid anything that could trigger fights, like a history of family depression.
• Make yourself appear larger than you are around your father-in-law by standing up on your hind legs and puffing out your chest.
• If you become frustrated during the festivities, consider going for a walk to the end of the driveway, continuing on for half an hour, reaching the town limits, entering a train station, buying the first available ticket, arriving in a town called Rockport, heading to the edge of the ocean, and just screaming.
• Ensure each family member has their own table at which to eat dinner.
• Split potentially huge family blowouts into smaller, more manageable bickering matches over the course of the holiday season.
• Take the time to consider things from your brother-in-law’s point of view so you can fully appreciate how fucking stupid his perspective is.
• Change name. Start new life.

When I die, bury him with me ... but but .. wait a minute !!

A woman dies, she asks that her pet be buried with her ... but ... wait a minute !!

http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/family/pet-advice/pet-owner-asks-dog-to-be-buried-with-her

So she loved this gorgeous dog and wanted him to be buried with her when she died .. but wouldn't a sane person want the dog to live a happy life and when it dies THEN it can be buried with you ?
She loved the dog so much she wants it killed so it can be buried with her ?

OK .. she was a nutter. But who are the **** for brains people who are going along with this idea to the extent that they are ready to put this gorgeous healthy dog to sleep so it can be buried with the dead woman ?

I am very close to giving up on Humans.

I will go be a hermit with the kitten. I will get a dog one day.
You have it here ... I only want them buried with me when they die.
I am not even sure I want them buried with me .. even then ... we will talk about that later.

                                          Bella, she is a Good girl.

The Dog that walked 30 miles to find a home

The Dog that walked 30 miles to find a home

Read this .. you will like the ending. click on the title over the photo.

Go Find Another Mother

I read an article recently, in a magazine while waiting for my car  tires to be checked.
It has snowed here, a lot of snow already, I was hoping to be one of those people who knew what to do to be prepared for winter up here in the Frozen North. . aka .. New York State.

The article was written by a woman who had a grown "child", who was for the most part, loving and a good kid . But then, for whatever reason, the kid would erupt into insults or hateful speech to the mother, making her very sad and   wondering  ... Why ?

Talking to therapists and to "experts" ... the same old reasons and answers were trotted out ..
"Acting out  , Childhood resentments , Frustration, etc " ...
If you ask me, I think it was just Spoiled Rotten Bad Behavior and that "child" was just a grown version of the spoiled brat that grew up.

Children trust that the love from a parent is boundless and that no matter what they say or do, they will be forgiven and still loved .

But in my opinion, there comes a time when the "child" is no longer a child, when the verbal abuse or insults become ugly and uncalled for and when the Parent should say , So long, Goodbye, See you when you become nice or not at all... 

Go find  Another Mother .. one who will put up with verbal abuse, one who might actually deserve to be spoken to that way .. or just go live your life without a mother and see how that feels.
You can visit with plenty of children who can tell you what that is about .. children who have much less than you .

It made me think of how no matter what you do or did with your own children as they grew up, you really never know what odd remark or behavior could have made a huge impression on the child and the adult the child becomes, will carry it with them.

Hopefully, we all made more huge Good Impressions on our children and never have to worry about them turning on us like mad dogs.

So in the case of the woman whose child just never could stop reverting back to the old abusive self, the woman finally said one day, Go Find Another Mother.

Pizza ? on Naan ??

From a blog I was reading recently :

Naan Pesto Pizza

Ingredients:

• 1 garlic naan (you can usually find this ingredient in the bread aisle)
• 1 tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil
• 3 tablespoons of pesto sauce
• 6 tomato slices
• 5-7 mushrooms
• Sprigs of fresh basil
• Chunks of fresh mozzarella

Directions:

• Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
• Place the naan on a baking sheet. 
• Spread the olive oil over the top of the garlic naan. Top the oil with the pesto sauce.
• Place the tomatoes, mushrooms, basil, and mozzarella over the pesto sauce.
• Place the baking sheet in the over for 5 minutes or until the cheese is melted and the naan is slightly browned.

My weekend visitors might be my guinea pigs for this.

Or we will have Chinese food .. or Mom will make potatoes and eggs and tell them to eat and be quiet.

One never knows what will happen at the moment when there are hungry grown children and no culinary inspiration. So make Naan Pizza.

Grab the Clutch !

I used to hate carrying a clutch.  You are one handed when you carry a bag in your hand.
But These Days ... the clutch has some sort of strap usually and I find that I am not always needing a huge bag, just the keys and lipstick and oh ... a mirror and my wallet and maybe a piece of hard candy in case ones sugar levels drop and well, I don't need a huge bag anymore.

So from the Old Days when I would hit Saks 5th Avenue with my husband on the day after Christmas, I have a fine collection of Clutch handbags.
Right now I am carrying something new .. a Clutch that is also a wallet from Coach.
It is called a Wristlet . But it is the gathered leather that made me want it.
It is so interesting looking, I had to have it.
You know what I mean, I know you do.

Spiders

I have spiders.
Big .. ugly .. brown ... obviously man eating and poisonous spiders.
They don't have to poison me, the sight of them will make my heart stop beating.

So I have had this Spider thing most of my life .. as long as I can remember, I am terrified of spiders.
Luckily for me, I was married to someone who had no qualms about smashing them and getting rid of the bodies. He would sometimes be a comic and make noises like the spider was fighting back or that the spider was begging for mercy. He was funny but he killed the spiders for me.

Now he is gone and the spiders found out.
They are visiting every day.
Tonight.. just a few minutes ago ... I almost put my hand down on one, in the kitchen, on the counter .. where there should have only been white tile, there it was  .. ugly thing. . now a dead thing but do you know how hard it was to kill ????
I sprayed it with Windex.
The damn thing is very shiny and squeaky clean but kept coming !!!
So I drowned it and then I smashed it then I smothered it.

It is now a mummy wrapped in Saran Wrap.

I am saving it for the Exterminator who will not have the excuse of not knowing what kind of spider to aim for.

I want to go live in a bubble. A nice pest free bubble with the kitten.
shuddering .. ugh ... I hate spiders.

I had a photo from google but I can't stand having it here on my blog .. ugh ... ugh ... ugh ..!

Life in the Country .. what to wear ??

With all the things that happened to my life this past year, I have had a very lax way of thinking about what to wear and how I look.
Of course, I still wash my hair and wear makeup and perfume and dress nicely ( better than the average around here, due to the lack of country clothes and overabundance of city clothes) ..
I do wear skinny jeans and Chanel quilted work boots ... funky but nice.

But I don't and as my husband had told me once, I will never blend in.
Funnily, I blended in pretty well in Buenos Aires. As long as I did not speak.
I had people coming up to me all the time, in Spanish or English, asking me for directions.
I was so flattered, half the time I wanted to walk them to their destination, I was so happy to be taken for a Porteño ..

Now I look like a Weekender. . . or a foreigner ... someone who obviously did not grow up here..
Apparently someone who still does not know her way around and has no idea what to wear .
My dressed down is generally the dressed up for this area.

I don't see people in the street like you do in the city, so I have no idea what to wear some days.
The lady next door goes out in a blizzard with a sweater on so I can't go by her.
All the men I see around here are hearty and wear things like lumberjacks wear or outdoor workers.

All this leads to the fact that I have to 1- move somewhere that I will blend in  2- buy some new country clothes..
Personally I like option number 1 but I think 2 might be the one I will have to take.
Although. I am keeping my mind open .. if there was the right offer, the right place to go to .. I am willing.

So I look at online websites where people in the street are featured or magazines that have people in the countryside ... what are they wearing ?

It is like having homework but no one will grade it.
Got to get back to studying.

Don't feel sorry for me though, this is the kind of study that I excel at . And I do want to blend in .. sort of.

Soup

COCONUT BUTTERNUT SQUASH SOUP WITH RICE

recipe type: Soup

prep time:  25 mins

cook time:  30 mins

total time:  55 mins

serves: 4

INGREDIENTS

• 1 large butternut squash (about 2 lbs)
• 2 tablespoons sesame oil
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 3 garlic cloves, chopped
• 2 tablespoons ginger, grated
• 1½ teaspoons crushed red pepper
• 1 teaspoon turmeric
• ½ cup cilantro, chopped plus more for garnish
• 1 15 oz can of light coconut milk
• 3 cups water
• 2 tablespoons lime juice
• ½ cup jasmine rice
• ½ tablespoon butter

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Cut butternut squash in half lengthwise. Peel both halves, remove seeds, 
2. then cut the round bottom off each half (where the seeds start). 
3. Chop the long neck part of the squash into 1 inch square pieces.
4. Bring a little water to a boil in a medium sized pot. 
5. Place a colander with the squash bottoms in them on 
6. top of the boiling water, cover with a lid, and steam the squash
7.  for about 15 minutes. 
8. This will later be mashed and used to thicken the soup.
9. In a different large pot, heat sesame oil. 
10. Add chopped squash, onion, garlic, and ginger and 
11. cook until onions are translucent.
12. Stir in crushed red pepper, turmeric, and cilantro. 
13. Next add coconut milk and water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, 
14. and simmer for 20 minutes.
15. When steamed squash is done, transfer to a food processor. 
16. Add ½ a cup of liquid from the soup and puree until smooth. 
17. Once soup has simmered, stir pureed squash into pot.
18. In a small pot, cook rice. 
19. Once rice is cooked mix with butter.
20. Serve soup over rice with a s little bit of lime juice 
21. and some extra cilantro on top.

From Tastespotting : Things I Made Today 

Parlez vous Tartine ?

I am gonna go all French on us ( well, me ) tonight and make Tartine for dinner.
That is really just a fancy French way of saying I am making grilled cheese sandwiches.
Except open - faced.
With more than just cheese . Maybe French cheese.
Maybe a Nicoise olive or two.
And some Dijon.
Parlez vous, tartine ?








Merci NYT for le foto

Decorating ... someones gotta do it.

I like decorating with the Eiffel Tower.
I have the one on the far right. I have had it for many years... over 15 at least.
It sits on top of a couple of big coffee table books ... on my coffee table ! I know, I am so avant garde.

I feel like doing some decorating today.
I can do anything I want, I have only myself to please.

That is very sad .

Maybe I will buy some silk and cover the pillows .. sewing by hand .. that'll keep me busy for a month at least.

Bored ? Re-Decorate !

I just love all the white with touches of blue. All the windows and light ..
Might have to redecorate.

Sweet

 

Todays Tear Jerker 

Most Favorite Beautiful Blog - This Week

principessadellaforesta.tumblr.com

Let's not get too crazy.

What are you reading ?
I just finished The Garden Plot.

Something to Consider

Someone left this sweet little pup in a dumpster.

If I lived in California, I would have a little dog right now.

If you live in California .. consider adopting him.

http://www.lifewithdogs.tv/2014/09/dog-left-in-dumpster-in-california-is-rescued/

 

September 11

Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak, whispers the o'er fraught heart and bids it break

~ Shakespeare

A Brighter Day

Now I Understand

Now I understand why people like those foofy little dogs 

All Daughters Should Be Taught This

Paris-One


I have this radio station on the computer and it is great.
Now you have to be in the mood ... imagine yourself in Paris .. dressed in black .. nice high heels on .. and totally letting yourself go with the Music.

Now some people might not like what you hear, but the idea is to fill your head with the music and nothing else and just move.

So you can do it at home when exercising too :)

Did you ever have one of those days ?

When it seemed all you did was go round and round ?



























image-zsa zsa bellagio

Colorful Food !

Cold Beet Soup

Zucchini Ribbons with Goat Cheese


Get the recipes in Lonny Magazine

Another Womans Life (La vie d'une autre )

No , this isn't about me :)
I watched this film last night and it was so good that I want to share it.
Juliette Binoche is one of my favorite actresses and she does a brilliant job in this.
It will satisfy you, I am sure.



La vie d'une autre

Open to Everything

Indila - Deriniere Danse

Thanks to my Daughter, I get almost daily music to listen to and I fall in love with it.
This is todays ....

I like to think we are very eclectic in our music choices  ... My husband loved Classical music and taught me to appreciate it even more than I did .... way back then.
But he also loved Jazz ( that is the one kind of music I can't love) and everything else .. Beatles, Stones, Charles Lloyd ( he knew Charles Lloyd) and he was open to everything.
I am often closed to things until I hear them then have to eat my words.

So I try to be like him .. be open to everything.

Coffee !!!!

Morning

Sunday Breakfast

On weekends, for breakfast, my husband and I would walk to one of our favorite bakeries and buy things like this .

Muffins, cakes, scones ... always scones. 

I miss those walks to the bakery.

I miss the scones .

I miss the husband.

Happiness - Don't Just Wish

I read this somewhere today and wanted to share :

Things that will make you happy/happier.

1- Good friends

2- Express Thankfulness ( how easy is that ? just say Thank you)

3- Pursue your goals .. don't just talk about it .. Do it !

4- Do what you are good at .. often.

5- Give ... be UNselfish

6- Stop chasing "Stuff" .. money/cars/homes .. things don't  make you happy

7- Live the Life you want ... not the one others expect you to live . It is about you, your goals, your life.

I read once that the saddest words were when someone was dying and they said they wished they had done this or that.
Keep that in mind, when you wish to do or go or be something.. do it.
Don't just wish.

On a Rainy Day

                                      What better thing is there to do on a rainy day ?

Fry something

My Dad who grew up in North Carolina, used to say that Southerners like to fry things .. everything.

I just found a recipe that would make him happy.
Fried Fritos.

I am going to go find a salad somewhere .. maybe I will fry it .

Hair

Some people don't have much and they sigh and wish they did.
Some people have so much that they wish they had less.
Some people don't like the color , they change it, hate it, dye it back.
Some people want theirs longer or shorter.

Mine is blonde. I am fine with that, the white blends in better.
Mine is very long .. I am getting tired of that.. although very long white blonde hair has a Look.

I am considering a haircut.
I am not as brave as I used to be.
Yes, it will grow back .. but but ....

This is the haircut that I like ..

The purse isn't bad either.

Maybe I won't go so short .. keep it to my shoulders or just above... hmmmm

Hair .. it is never perfect. Is yours ?

Fashion For the Mad Housewife via my Favorite blog .. Crush Cul de Sac

This could be my new uniform.

and this

ok...this also. Actually, it already is.

I am thrilled. I made this necklace, I will wear mine too !

I don't want the fur but I did want to let you know that the one on the left has my hair.

crush cul de sac

Up the Stairs

We had "friends" while living in Buenos Aires ... the sort that are friendly when they see you but then .. not. But when they were friends, they invited us to lunch and to visit and to see their apartment.
They bought it from a man who had great style and talent in turning an old apartment full of many rooms and sort of dowdy and fusty into a palatial apartment that I wanted soooo badly.
But they bought it privately and I never knew it was even on the market and they did a lovely job with it .. making it less fabulous and more homey...but fabulous.

This is the staircase to the apartment. There is one apartment per floor. You see what I mean ?
It shoulda been mine !!

The staircase in my apartment building was made of marble but it was once a private home so it was not so grand and sweeping  .. but nice enough.. with the old "cage" elevators and all.

It is a good start, find a building with a grand staircase and then decide on an apartment.

Kindness

“Girls are not machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.”

—	Porphyria R’lyeh

 




Oh so many girls need to read this and remember it.

I Want

I want this room.
I can't have the room.
So I want the sofa .. the color !

Reality Check

Reality Check Ms Paltrow !

This is just hilarious.
I remember liking her when she was in Shakespeare in Love.
Those days are long past.

Enjoy the laughs ..

5. “I am who I am. I can’t pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.”

If

If I were here 

I would not complain .

If this were mine

I would be content.

If I were back here in my bedroom in BA, I would not mind

If this was my view again, I might be happy

Thursday Humor

Celebrating ... be back later !!

Monday Look at this Blog .... This is Glamorous

This is Glamorous

that is the name of the blog.

These are all from her blog, I have been going into fits wanting everything I have seen on this blog tonight!
Some of the decorating I can do here but mostly I am feeling even more in love with the idea of selling my house and moving to an apartment and decorating it in some similar style. . in Paris would be nice, I will settle for New York City ..

Go look at the blog and see what I mean .. you have to remember to come up for air. Or a drink and a bite to eat ..
This is Glamorous is a wonderful blog.